Saturday, December 14, 2013

Saying Goodbye Is Important

Maybe because it's a rainy, cold day and I'm feeling really sentimental because my oldest daughter is visiting. More's because of what happened to me today that I'm writing this post. Here is my thought.....

I have always felt that it is very important to say good-bye to somebody when you should say it. The first reason why is kind of obvious. The second reason is why I felt compelled to write this blog post today.

Primarily, it's important to say good-bye to somebody when they are moving or you are moving or they are getting old.....or you are getting old. You may never see them again. This is an easy one, relatively speaking though some people still don't like doing it. Here's why; People sometimes feel like if they say good-bye then it might "come true" and they might never see you again. It's sad. It's true though. People like to say all kinds of little tricky things like "I don't say good-bye. I just say see you later!" Or they like to say things like, "This isn't good-bye it's just 'until we meet again'." What they actually do is let the relationship kind of slide out into the vapor to wander around without closure or validation.

I like to say "Good-bye." The reason is because of the second reason you should say it. Because saying good-bye validates that you have a relationship. It means that you have had fun visiting. You've had a nice time with them. You're glad you got to know them. You are glad you got to spend time together and you won't quickly forget what you have shared. It validates your relationship. Saying good-bye doesn't end your relationship it strengthens it by actually admitting that it means enough to you to say good-bye and admit you recognize it's about to change. You are saying that the change in your relationship means enough to you to actually put a milestone in place.

At this point  you either think I'm nuts or you "get" what I'm saying. Here is my example from today though.

Some nice people across the street (Marius, Rosalie and their baby Amy) moved in a few months ago. We really didn't get to spend a lot of time together but we shared some good times and did neighborly things. Again, nice people. Well, they moved today. They are on their way to the airport right now as I write this. They are moving back to Germany. They have TONS of things on their mind. They have loads of excitement, stress and anxiety they are dealing with as they take their new baby back home to Germany after a brief (too brief in both of our books) stint in the United States. But....before they left for the airport, on a rainy and cold day, they take their baby and come across the street to knock on my door to say good-bye. That is awesome. validates that they value what time we've had. It says they want to stay in touch. It also (and listen closely here young adults) says that grown people say good-bye and walk through the awkwardness and sadness and do the right thing when they could have EASILY just driven to the airport and never seen me again. What a classy thing to do. They actually came and said good-bye. They said, "We will probably never see you again but we are glad we got to know you." And I said the same and I smiled and wished them God's blessings in their life. If they had just "left" I would have thought they never really cared. They might have thought that I was just some dude across the street that didn't really care about them. But...neither is true.

Now......why all the fuss from me about this? Because if you read this you might take the time to say good-bye someday to somebody NOT because you don't know if you'll see them again but because you want to say that what you had was enjoyable and rewarding and important to you. That is a real gift that you give somebody. So call it what it is. It's good-bye and it's okay. If you see them again you'll still be friends. If you don't see them again there will be no denying that you both actually had a relationship you appreciated and that's.....kind of what you were shooting for in the first place right?